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ITCM 25 - TheDude
Inside the Competitor's Mind - TheDude When I first spoke to Brian, he’d been cramming for his last finals. I’d been warned he had a wonderfully crooked mind, but I wasn’t prepared for just exactly how crazy that could be. I had to laugh when the first thing he said to me was “After I read one of your interviews my first thought was, ‘damn this b*tch can write!’” He certainly made me think of a rambunctious puppy, potentially destructive, yet cute and lovable. I arranged to meet him at Shooter’s World when he said he’d teach me to shoot. It was a Friday night, as ladies shoot free for the first hour all day Fridays. The gun rental was free too, which meant I could afford it if all I had to do was pay for the ammunition and the targets. I thought I might as well go cheap, as I knew I was going to suck at it. When I finally met him, I was fascinated to find out that at just over 6’ tall, he wasn’t a puppy by any means. We went over to the lounge area to talk. I knew enough from watching TV that it was going to be loud on the shooting range. He started talking as soon as introductions were over, in his own inimitable, enthusiastic style. “I’m 32 and the 3rd of 4 kids. I have two older sisters and a younger brother. My dad was in the army so I lived in a lot of places. I was born in Texas, then we went to Florida, Germany, Texas, and Maryland. When I was six, my dad and I drove the U-Haul all the way from Maryland to Phoenix AZ. And I've been here ever since.” He stopped and grinned, the mischief evident in his eyes, “If I were asked to use only one word to describe Phoenix, it would have to be ‘Hot’. Balls hot.” He laughed uproariously at his own audacity. I couldn’t help it, I had to laugh with him. “In the summer the heat is so debilitating that people are just trying to get from one AC unit to the next. It's dry... And huge! Phoenix is made up of multiple sub-cities. From east to west you can drive for an hour or more and not reach the other side.” “I remember that the first thing I said to my dad when we got out of the truck in 119 degree heat was,’I wanna go home!’" He laughed as he mimicked himself whining. “Dad said, ‘This is home now, boy!’ Oh, the disappointment!” Amused, I asked him, “So do you consider it home?” “I do! I’ve been wanting to leave ever since I got here but this is everything I know. I can’t leave all my friends and family now,” he shrugged. “I started gaming as a small child but my parents were too broke to get us a Nintendo until I was about 9. My first game was FF1 (Final Fantasy 1). It was a bit beyond my level at that age, but somehow I managed. Other games in my nintendo collection included Ninja Turtles which I thought was shitty, Bayou Billy, also shitty, Turtles 2 which was awesome, Legend of Zelda, Adventures of Link, both also awesome, and many more.” His eyes were shining as he recalled the games from his youth. “Super Nintendo was my favorite system of all time. Breath of Fire, Chrono Trigger, FF2 and 3, and all the other badass RPGs of their time. I like B2 because it has that old school FF tactics feel mixed with FF, but with decent graphics. BB1 became more of a grind than fun for me so that sped the transition. Honestly though, if I hadn’t met the people that I did on Line, I’d have left some time ago. BB2 is severely lacking in the online community department.” “I started using thedude as my ign on a game called Secret of the Solstice many moons ago and it has followed me throughout my gaming career. It is based on my favorite movie ‘The Big Lebowski'. One of my guild mates actually recognized me from another game we played and we know each other in real life! That is when knew I was destined to be in Legion of Doom! It was the first guild I saw on forums and I joined it because that was my favorite tag team in WWF (world wrestling federation) when I was a kid. Everyone in this guild has similar interests and great senses of humor. Not only is everyone competitive but they have fun with it too. I would do shots with any of my guildies and laugh while doing it.” “Are your finals for a master's degree?” I asked curiously. “Well, right now I’m working on my Bachelor’s in Biotech but I won’t stop until I have a doctorate,” He flashed that cheeky grin again, “Took me a while to figure out what I wanted to do.” I laughed, “You’re so rambunctious, I thought you were in your 20s!” “Well... I’ve lived ‘fast’,” he leered at me before breaking up into laughter. “My age hasn’t caught up with me yet. Hopefully it never does.” Solemnly, he crossed his heart. “I normally stay far away from the forums unless I have been drinking... Heavily,” he rolled his eyes. “But, I would like to say that the f2p vs p2p gap will always be there. I would like to see a better matchmaking system in the pvp events, just to make it at least fun for all levels.” He paused to contemplate what he would say next, “About the mods: this is a touchy subject for some but I feel it necessary to say a couple things. In a game where player opinion forges the game to any degree, people who have a stake in the outcomes should not be given positions of power. A common retort to this viewpoint is, ‘How much power do forum mods really have?’ That statement would work if posts weren't being moved or taken down. It is not to say that all the mods are corrupt like bankers or politicians. But I'm not one to just give them these temptations to begin with. So maybe the fault is not with the mods themselves!” He winked at me and tried to continue but I interrupted him with a question. “So what kind of stake do these mods have in the outcome?” “Well, the main reason a lot of people have stuck around so long is the anticipation of adding guilds. Now none of us players know when or how any of that stuff will be implemented. Even if guild-affiliated mods can't ‘see the future’ and prepare for this feature, they can certainly mold the voices of the forum community to suit the needs of their respective guilds. For example: if a guild already has say 200 plus members or so, then it would be in their best interest to have guild bonuses to suit quantity over quality or vice versa.” He shrugged again and moved on to talk about the events. “Well, being a quarter Jewish I have two great qualities, one, I can smell a trap, and two, I ask myself if I really need the reward dildo (this means ‘commander’ in LoD talk). If I’m feeling good about the reward and I feel there is no trap, then this is how I approach the different types of events. The weekly is the toughest event to place high in if you have life obligations. I find it easier to climb at night, so that is normally when I’ll make a push. And of course the final two hours of hell, which we all know and love. Dailies are easy, I see which dildo I want and stay up for 24 hrs drinking White Russians. I’ll sleep the next day and repeat the first process when the same dildo comes around.” He grabbed me and swung me around when I shook my head in mock disapproval. We both collapsed back into our chairs, laughing like loons. “Gauntlets, I use as much regen as possible and use sigils on the last day as needed. I only placed 44th in PvP so I’m not the best source on that. Seeing as how I had no Gan, Armory, Camille, Bael, or Samurai debuff guy, I went full retard on wisdom and used one blue tank to absorb at least one Bael hit... That one is free.” He laughed again, eyes bright and full of life. “What's your favorite place overseas from the time your dad was still in the army?” I couldn’t resist asking. He looked apologetic but the gleam in his eyes had me bracing for his answer, “To be honest, I don’t remember anything but cobblestone streets and peeing on the beerman's foot. I was 3 when we were in Germany,” he grinned when I laughed, then offered, “I loved Maryland though!” Shaking my head at him, I said, “I took an unforgettable hot air balloon ride out in Sedona. Have you ever been there?” “Oh yes, many times! I’d live there if I were rich.” Then he eyed me with that gleam again. “Just gotta watch out for the ritual sacrifices and you will be okay.” Incorrigible, that’s what he was. I tried to control my laughter but it was impossible. That wicked gleam was just too enticing. Laughing at me now, he went on, “I like ¢hrome a lot. Sorta like someone else I know,” he winked at me as I blushed. “I want to actually meet him and several others one day.” “So who do you want to meet and why?” I wanted to know, “Give me a few.” He looked at me for a few minutes to gather his thoughts, “Well, ¢hrome because he seems to understand me, which, believe me, is no easy task! He's the type of guy that really knows people. If we went to the same grade school we'd probably have been friends. He had me at hello…” he winked at me, and I knew I was in for a ride. This was only going to be partly serious. I laughed as he continued, “And the fact that he loves the movie Predator.” There was a suspicious gleam in his eye that made me wonder what this was all about, despite sounding innocuous. “Pop is awesome and really laid back. I see the work he and Rod does and it makes me miss being a carpenter. Took me a while to figure out how he can build a bathroom and simultaneously rank top 20... He is made out of magic... His special spinach probably helps too,” he tried to keep his expression solemn, but the laughter bubbled out anyway. “Beau is a no bullshit kind of person. Really down to earth. He reminds me of Spock but with a sense of humor and is great at solving puzzles. I would love to hide his copy of The Princess Bride and see how long it would take him to realize it was missing.” He almost fell to the floor, he was laughing so hard now. “Edd is not Mercan... But he is really funny and extremely passionate about kicking ass. So he's Mercan in my book. They don't call him double D for nothing...” He winked again. “Inside joke,” he whispered theatrically. “Mijoe is one of the most morally sound people I've ever met and is surprisingly good at movie quotes. And when I say good I mean better than me... And I'm pretty much ‘the cable guy’. I just want hang out, no big deal.” Then there was that gleam in his eyes again. I didn’t quite know what to do except hold on for the ride I knew had to be coming up. “Entus is a badass and was molded out of pure greatness. Long ago, when the earth was still in its infancy, he was spewed forth from Jupiter's cock itself, straight into the fires of Mount Doom. It is there, that he would remain, as a child in the womb, until such times as he was needed... Ages later he would emerge and during times of great suffering the universe will speak the one great truth, ‘a hero is born’.” Pausing, he looked solemnly at me, “I want him inside me.” I snorted before I could stop myself. Then we were both laughing hard enough that all the other people in the place were looking at us, wondering if they should call the local asylum about us. It took us a few minutes to quiet down, because I’d start giggling every time I caught his eyes. And he was no help, waggling his eyebrows to make me laugh again. “Stop, you have to stop,” I implored him, holding my hand up. He chuckled and grabbed that hand, dragging me over to get all the necessary paraphernalia. “C’mon! Let’s go shoot!” “Are you even any good at it?” I asked him suspiciously. He turned to me, looking wounded, “I put an entire box of 50 in the head at 75ft with a Springfield xdm 9mm once.” “You know that means absolutely nothing to me, right?” I answered dryly, laughing as he clutched his heart in mock agony. “Don’t worry, he’s plenty good enough,” the guy at the counter assured me. We both laughed as Brian preened at the compliment. “Did your dad teach you?” “No, my mom hates guns. She’s a hippie. So, my dad didn’t teach me. My friend Travis taught me and I was pretty much a natural.” Cocky, that’s what he was. I shook my head, amused. “Do not wrap yourself around me,” I warned him as I followed him into the range. “I know this can be taught without any of those shenanigans.” “Would I do a thing like that?” he held his hands up and tried to look innocent. I rolled my eyes, then both of us burst into laughter and went in to do some shooting. Category:Mizy Category:ITCM